I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 40 years old. I pursued a diagnosis because both my children were diagnosed with ADHD. One of the first things I learned as I started to research this diagnosis was that it "ran" in families. I recognized so many symptoms of ADHD in myself. The diagnosis literally changed my life. It made me make sense. Finally, I knew why I was so smart and yet so dumb! Im book-smart. I used to think I had a photographic memory. During a test, I could remember where in the book I had read the answer. I love Jeopardy! However, socially and emotionally Ive always been behind others my age. I was described as "naive" and "child-like". I didnt understand that people could be one way to my face and another way behind my back. I could be too loud, too frantic, too emotional in social settings. Executive functions dont develop at the same rate in children with ADHD as they do in children without ADHD. Executive functions include the ability to regulate emotions, body, impulses, social awareness, and general maturity. According to the world-renowned expert on ADHD, Dr. Russell Barkley, the brain of a child with ADHD develops approximately 30% behind schedule. Imagine the trouble a girl could get into if she has the body and hormones of a 12 year old but has the social awareness and impulse control of a child of 7 or 8? I could finally forgive myself for all the mistakes I had made in my teens and early 20's. And I honestly thanked God that I hadnt gotten into more trouble.
Im also grateful for my diagnosis because I understand my children a lot more. I am able to extend grace when my daughter blabs a secret or who declares that her best friend is someone 4 years younger than her or still wants to play with dollies and Barbies when all her friends the same age as her are starting to experiment with makeup and make eyes at boys in their class. I explain to both my children that our brains work differently so sometimes it's hard for us to focus on something that isnt really interesting to us or sometimes we get so focussed on an activity that we do love, that we cant transition to doing something else. And sometimes we'll keep talking even though we've been told to be quiet or while the teacher is speaking even though we know we shouldn't. Doing these things doesn't make us bad people. And it isn't our fault if other people dont understand why we do or dont do certain things. We aren't responsible for their opinions. All we can do is educate our friends how our brains work.
That's kind of how I look at most things that are considered taboo. Why is it unacceptable to speak about mental illness? Why cant we talk about how my brain processes things differently than yours? Why dont we discuss what medications we take so we can lower the bad effects of the symptoms of our mental illnesses? Well, I talk about all those things, to anyone who will listen and some that dont want to. And Im raising my children to do the same. No one is taken aback if you are diagnosed with diabetes and must take insulin so Im going to talk about my diagnosis of depression, anxiety and ADHD and that I take medications called duloxetine (Cymbalta) and lisdexamfetamine (Vyvanse).
